28 August 2008
ok, i really did not know what had gotten over me.
i was so emotional and suspected...
i really had a strong feeling about it, so i checked.
familar words starred into my face.
i almost broke down and tear.
i stayed strong, i tried not to believe wad i saw.
but, more clues confirmed that itwas true.
however, it was know that i had accused wrongly,
i had not trusted.
upon hearing so, i broke down again.
now in reverse i was suspected.
i start to suspect if i m seeing thing...
maybe i sccused wrongly,
or maybe she was just lying.
i don't know, but i do know that i m just in the mood of being confused.
i didt expect anything like that to happen.
to me it is being stubbo that had got over her .
i really dun know.
i really dun know.
i mean in my point of view it really seemed like it had happened.
but, from the other party, it is just a form of accusation.
i really dun know.
but, i really tried to lie low, and not breath a word out.
but whenever it came to me,
my blood boiled.
i just want to avoid the whole thing.
now, i know that inside me has a mixture of hurt, misery and confusion.
h ur t -
9:40 PM
19 August 2008
it had been such a long time since i had posted. i had even forgotten how to post. but this few months had been a tiring and tedious one. many things had happenened and some were really good, some were just freaking bad. jus in this month, i failed two common test, both are on the language section. is it depressing? it was the first time i failed that subject. it hurts my heart a lot u know? and for the another test, i expected a least a pass, but i failed.. that feeling was so unbearable that i just broke down. i really didint expect anything stated above to happen. then today, there is this maths common test, i practically just screwed the whole papaer up. now there wasnt any motivation left for me to study harder. i kept on asking myself if i was really slacking and was i really being too complacent. there was no answers. i really think i slack a lot alot this semester. i m so scared. i m some one so easily influenced. my parents were atarting to see this change in me, there were holding me on more tighter than ever. they would not want to let it go. they are afraid i would br led astray. even i myself suspect my own strong beliefs and character. i dont know. i feel so emotional. i feel like it is the end of the world. but i really dun want this kind of feeling. does anyone knows how am i feeling. om gosh, i feel so much better after typing. but i would really hope some one is really there to support me when i m really frail and weak. i want to do it. i want to excel, but everythingseems to be going down hill. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! it was not planned like that.
depressed...
emoing...
h ur t -
8:28 PM
05 June 2008
hello!
yesterday was fine. my parents came back and i miss them dearly.
i made them a banner and had welcome wishes for them.
they all looked very tired and we did not really talked much.
i wasnt in the mood to talk too.
my sisters enjoyed themselves very much.
once they came home, they were excitedly telling me their expediture in australia.
they were also proudly showing off what they experienced in the country.
they showed me the photos and i was so jealous.
i mean, i was told to stay at home and not allowed to go out.
i had only 4 faces of wall to face and a maid.
i spend my time with the computer and the tv.
it wasnt really that great.
they were able to see the world and experience the difference.
i started to think that it was unfair.
i know tat they triend to make it up for me by buying me presents although the exchange rate was high.
they bought me chocolates, noughart, bags and shirts.
maybe i should be happy,
i should be appreciative,
i should be thankful,
i should be glad.
well,
maybe that takes time.
today was very relaxing.
i did a little work.
i think that it was time for me to seriously start doing my homework.
revisions,
tuition homeworks,
and also take this holiday to change my life.
i think it is high time to make it exciting and colourful.
SHOULD I?
h ur t -
10:33 PM
01 June 2008
hello people! omg la! it has been a sooooooooooo long time since i posted! wth!
it is always the same old excuse la. too busy ver busy. just too busy...
many things had obviously happened.
just like the MYE. sec 2 camp and now the holidays.
waaaahhhh! it is really a long time.
on a brighter note, time had passed very fast and i did not realise that it is JUNE!
nayway today is the 1st of june.
actuallu in MArch nothinh much had happened. (it rhymes)
not that i can remember.
OH! I GOT ONE! it was the march holidays.
man! my memory is failing. *sigh*
it was just a very short one. no wonder it was so insignificant to me.
in april i had my NAPHA!
IT WAS ACTUALLY OK LA.
i was very pleased with myself.
i managed to run in a time of 15 minute +++ .
maybe i was too excited to run with my track shoes.
it was satisfying.
the 5 station was bad. i did not flung any.
but it was not too good.
in the beginning of MAY,
i kind of made new friends i guess.
lizzie, felicia and cherish.
i guess i m starting to be quite random.
i was still in touch with the rest.
then in the middle i was having the MYE!
it was terrible, horrible, vegetable.
the paper was so damn hard la.
before that i was chionging like some mad woman.
the results wasnt really dissapointing but average results.
i did not meet my dad requirement.
he wanted me to get an average of 70%.
but i got 65%.
so i wasnt able to go on a holiday with them.
i thought my dad wasn't reaaly serious about it.
anyway, i was mentally prepared.
i wasn't that devastated.
however, when the days of them going on the holiday started to approach i felt the pain.
my mum , sis and dad constantly discussing on the holiday itinery.
i felt left out.
i knew my mum seriously wanted me to go, she had begged my dad alot.
all the more, i felt that i have let her down.
upon pondering on these, i was shedding tears every now and then.
my dad knew it all.
he explained that his motive of this plan was to make feel that only if i put in enough effort, then i will get my desired results. he do not want me to get whatever i want the easy way. i cant afford to be complacent.
so here i am, staying at home with my maid.
i had thought over what my parent say.
after all, they really mean well.
the feeling of being left out was bad.
but it is all going to over in a few days time.
i knew i could do this.
during this period of time, many people had been there to encourage me.
thank u guys a million and one times.
thankyou: aunty, uncle, grandma, lizzie, mu shuen, amelia, mum, dad.
i really could feel the love.
i guess love is on the air, water and in me!
h ur t -
2:10 PM
13 March 2008
omg! people are complaining.
anyway on monday i went to scdf and is like so cool can.
beautiful memories there.
met****people.
and i m going crazy because of it.
oh yeah.
my progress report card---> 66%
is that a good or a bad?
i guess bad lah.
so lan rite?
failed english by 1 mark.
so parents dam disapointed can?
they ignored me for days. till ow still ignore me. i left 1 more homework and i m done.
hate holiday because have to get back progress report and holiday homework.
really hate it!
going to start school in like another 3 days!
it is like going to be another new term and it is choing time!
chiong arh!
really stress...
hopr that mas selamat will be caught soon!
h ur t -
9:20 AM
27 February 2008
harlo. i know i did not post for really long. but it is not my fault. it is smss fault cause they dumped me with lotsa work. practically dumped onto me la. i kow my blog got some prob. like always hang right? so those who are able to come in are lucky la. congrats. oh u want to know how much i fair for test? i pass english. it is like a miracle. c5 u know? but i know it is still really low. maths A1. chinese A1. literature B3. science c5. this one i really sad about it la. cause at first i got 80. then after that become fail (30) so overall 55 lor. waiting for my IH. quite scared. waiting for my home econs too. i think i should beable to do well la. cause is sec 1 works. and i already gone through. but worrying my maths. cause it is really difficult. really difficult. lit test coming up soon. aqnd i m like the 2nd in class for lit. happy, but i think i can do better. for those in kcpss i missing u guys many many. i bought denise a present. her birthday coming soon. luckily her birthday is on 1st march if 1 day later then become leap year sai. i know i m talking crap, but yah u dun have to give out cold sweat. i m going back to kcpss next thursday. i m counting down sia! so cya guys there!
h ur t -
8:28 PM
08 February 2008
yo! i m in my cousin's house now. waiting for the food to come. so that i can eat. but anyway, i m not really hungry. cause i m stuffed with chinese new year goodies. yea... i mean the food just came. so means, i m going down. yesterday my luck for gambling was ok ok la. no win no lose. sian. later have another session of gambling, so see ya guys. i hate ppl who are show off!
happy chinese new year once again!
h ur t -
1:12 PM
